Need help answering those pesky questionars? call 999

Date:07/31/08
time:11:50pm
place: Bed
Red fish: Blue fish

so this lady in Europe called the police department to ask what year the internet was invented. Apparently this type of thing happens allot so what do those brilliant Europeans do? Put it up on youtube. They hope that embarrassing these people will deter future idiot callers. Also they hope that people might identify these callers and bring these guys to justice. What the police don't realize is that they are making people famous. What this is going to do is open the flood gates. People are going to be prank calling the police just to get on this youtube channel. Those wacky Brits.

Those sneeky B@#@&

Date:7/30/08
Time:11:20pm
Place:home desk
temp: 98.5 F

Lets do a simple psychological association test. For those of you that don't know what that is, an association test is where I say a word and you say the first thing that comes to mind. Ready?

Music.....OK, I pegged you more of a Miley Cyrus fan but lets move on
Cup.........what does that have to do with a cup? moving on
Stain.......I have to say, that surprises me. OK two more
Pickle......Thats something I really didn't need to know, or thought possible, last one
Windows Vista.....I knew you'd say that.

The reason for this test is this. Most people when confronted with windows vista will say the operating system is horrible. Ask them why and 84% will start of their listings of problems with the words "I heard." Now I'm not saying Vista is boss or that its the shyte. What I am saying is that it's interesting how much people tend to go with the flow. Windows did an experiment. They took about over a hundred people and asked them what they thought about windows vista. Almost everyone trashed the operating system saying it was slow and unreliable. Then they were shown an operating system called mojave. Those same people that trashed vista gave mojave rave reviews The said it was fast and looked good. Then microsoft dropped the bomb by admitting that mojave was actually windows vista. Those same people that where complaining about vista were praising it when they thought it was something else. I've included a link to the experiment here http://mojaveexperiment.com/ . Not to be a hypocrite but my laptop originally came with Vista and I loved it but I had to get rid of it. Trust me when I say Vista is better than XP. It really is. It has a customizable everything, you can literally tweek every feature to tailor to your needs. The feature I liked most was the live search bar on the top of windows explorer and the customizable left side panel. Now the problem is that all these new features do use up system resources. XP doesn't have all these features so it uses less system resources. In this respect xp is faster but thats like saying A car would be faster and waste less gas if you get rid of the AC. This is true but an AC is well worth the sacrifice in speed and fuel economy. The reason that I had to get rid of vista was that vista dose not play well with XP. I have a desktop at home that holds all my files ( music, movies, ect) It literally took me days to figure out how to get Vista to even see my desktop on my network. I then had the problem of my file transfer rate between machines being about 10 mbs when I have 100 mbs connections. I have over 1,000 gigs of stuff on my desktop and you can see how a transfer rate of 10 mbs just will not cut it. Also some of the programs I had to use for class didn't work on Vista. so besides the networking issues vista is a better operating issue.

and vista saves kittens.

Why does X=Y

7/29 :date
place :bed
time:11:21 pm
this is: annoying

date:7/25/08
time:11:15pm
place:couch

damn

my idea stolen

Date:7/23/08
Time:11:46pm
Place:bed
E-brake:useless

The portable laptop. The first commercially available was the Osborne 1. It was small portable and a technological break through. The only problem was that it wasn't very fast and it was limited in use. I (being the visionary I am) invented a portable desktop. It was all the power of your desktop put in a portable package. This would have been the breakthrough that would have made me my fortune, unfortunately apple had to ruin it by introducing the Mac portable. I did manage to sell one of my invention to a guy from Cincinnati .

uPhone iPhone weAllPhone

date:7/22/08
TIME:11:24pm
place: living room floor
AKA: Handlebars

These damn ninjas are smarter than I thought. After my epic battle I found what appeared to be my couch. I dragged it with the help of my friend Jimmy. Jimmy has no hands so he was mostly for moral support. I got it home and to my disappointment I discovered, this wasn't my couch. What gave it away? My couch had the left front peg shorter than the rest, oh and the couch I retrieved was a transformer in disguise. It wasn't a very good transformer though. It had windows installed so it froze up before it could do any damage. Any way I don't feel bad. Why you ask? I finally realized that no matter how bad I got it there is always someone who's got it worse. I came to this conclusion when my friend Jimmy invited me over to unwrap his new iPhone. I know what your thinking but honestly this didn't dawn on Jimmy till after the package arrived. It was a sad moment indeed. But it made me feel a little better about my predicament. Dose that make me a bad person? Other's misfortunes makes me feel better about my life. I guess its just one of those being human things.

Why so serious?

Date: 7/21/08
Time:11:33pm
Place: bed
Status: still couch less :(

I just got home from seeing Batman the dark knight. and i got to say that was the most incredible movie i have ever seen. Heath Leadger does a great job as the joker. I loved how the joker was always one step ahead of everyone. I thought Iron man was a good movie but this takes the cake. And oh man what a cake it is. I originally planed to see the midnight showing on friday morning but the lines where literally around the block at all 5 of the theaters I went to. I heard it was even better in Imax so as soon as I find an Imax theater in the city I am planning on going.

ninjas stole my couch!!!

date:7/16/08
time:11:19pm
place: my desk (what happened to the couch?)
日本語 / にほんご: 日本語んご!!!

本語日本語 にほんご 日本語んご日本語ほんご語 にほ
語 にほほんご 日本語語んご日本語本語んご日本
本語んご日本日本語 にほんご 日本語んご


The ransom note I posted above is no joke. Ladies and gentlemen (mostly the ladies) my couch has been stolen.....by ninjas. So there I was minding my own business when all of a sudden something shatters through my living room window. It was a smoke bomb. Of course being a New Yorker for 3 years I've been train to think Al-Quida in these situations. When my nose was broken by a nunchuck; however, I knew better. I put up a pretty good fight but in the end it was futile. After I woke up in the hospital I was visited by a mysterious man who handed me a note with the above written on it. I tracked my couch down to a wear house and found a group of ninjas. My goal was simple get my couch and get out. Little did I know i was in for the fight of my life. here is a dramatization of my epic battle

Can't handle the truth

date: 7/15/08
time:11:27 pm
Place: dis couch n ma livin room
tired: you bet

So apparently my whole belief system is a lie. Everything I was taught was holy and divine is nothing but an political move by some church heads. If you post yourself in front of any church and observe all those who pass by, you will notice a pattern amongst those that walk by. They recite the holy trinity and do the hand motions. Well according to Ronald Weinland The heads of the catholic church decided to unify the father, son, and the holy spirit because different people were debating which of these three religious icons was worthy of our worship. To keep everyone happy they just combined them and called it a day. My world has been turned upside down and nothing makes scenes anymore...or maybe its just gas.

Technology...love hate relationship

Date:7/14/08
Time:11:16pm
Place: My couch aka da luv palace (cue 80's music)
Size: does matter!!

I hate my laptop. I was on the verge of closing up my Pulitzer worthy Blog on the consipiracy behind youtube. I was about to blow the roof off of the evils of youtube. Then boom my lap top freezes. I lost about 8 minutes if straight writing. I'm about 2 seconds away from smashing this things face in. You would think that with all the freakin upgrades and breakthroughs we've had in the computing industry this type of thing would be a problem of the past. I guess no matter how sophisticated things get the bottom line is it's man made so it's ultimately flawed. I think the problem is in my RAM. I've been to lazy to run a diagnostic on it. I think I'll do it tonight. I'm hoping its the RAM because that can be replaced no problem. What can't be replaced is the love poem I was working on for the lady at the whole foods check out line on 5th ave, (sigh) now she'll never notice me.

crouching drunkard hidden liver cancer

Date:7/13/08
Time:12:09 am
Place: el couch-o
Realizing your trailing TP: priceless

Drunken people are fun to watch. Take this guy for example http://revver.com/video/1028934/drunk-ninja/

He is the first ever drunken ninja I've ever seen. Drunken people are cool and ninjas are just awesome so by transition this guy is awesomely cool. Why do people drink in the first place. Personally I think alcohol taste disgusting. The fact that you have to bury the flavor under a torrent of ingredients like lemons cherries and dingle berries says it all. I really don't get how a burger and cold beer sounds appetizing. The reason I drink is because I'm retarded when it comes to socializing. Being drunk helps take the edge off. I'm sure this is why everyone else drinks. I had a health ed teacher in highs school how said alcoholics aren't made they are born. A true alcoholic has a biological need for alcohol. Everyone else is just posing and no one likes a poser.

Worst book ever

Time:11:49 pm
Date: 7/10/08
Place: My living room couch
Pants: none

One book I absolutely despise is "A separate peace", by John Knowles's. I blame public schools for todays youths lack of enthusiasm for reading. I was force fed this crap in high school and it completely turned me off to reading. this book is so boring it makes bingo night at the elderly home seem like a night on the Vegas strip. What they fail to realize is kids like reading, just not the boring stuff they make us read in school. I mean schools force kids to read something like this then ask why kids rather watch T.V. or stare at the wall then pick up a book. Only one teacher has gotten the equation right. That was my 10th grade English teacher. He had a book for almost every genre and he let us pick what we wanted to read. Then the people who picked the same book from the list got together to discuss it. Book reports and test followed but hey we actually read the books so they were a breeze.

For those of you who haven't read the book here is a synopses, Chapter 1. My name is Gene, I'm a quite kid with no self esteem and a bit of a douche bag. Chapter 2 I'm going to an all boys boarding school. am I pissed off at my parents for robing me of experiencing 4 years of cheerleaders, fast girls, and kick ass parties, of course not I'm gay (even though I don't come out and say it). Chapter 3 So I met this guy today and he is so awesome...I wish I was that awesome. Why is he so awesome and I'm not. I'm depressed. I bet Phineas never gets depressed, on account of he's so awesome. I bet if i had a name like Phineas I'd be the awesome guy around campus. Chapter4 Apparently the only thing to do around campus is to jump off of a tree into a river and conduct late night meetings in bath robes...I love this place. Chapter5 Oh my god, I pushed Phineas off of the tree today I don't know why i did it I just did I was just so mad that he's so cool and I'm not. I feel really guilty. chapter6 still feeling guilty...chapter7 still feeling guilty...chapters 8 through 10 yep still feeling guilty. chapter 12 So the guys in robes came and kidnapped me I was excited till I found out they were holding a trial to see if I hurt Phineas on purpose. Phineas lied for me and said he slipped. wow what an awesome guy....I hate him why can't I be that cool. Chapter 13 Phineas got an operation on his broken leg and died. Now i really feel like crap. oh well look on the bright side at least this book will have no sequel.

so you pretty much get the picture...the book is boring.

The End, or as the French say, Fin

Date:7/ninth/o'eight
Time:11:13
Place:My couch
Dimension: third

Ahh the old end of the world scare. Nothing brings out the crazies like a good the world is going to end theory. Different people have different renditions of what "the end of the world" actually means. In a literal sense the world, meaning the earth its self, might be engulfed by the sun in a couple billion years.

To others however the end of the world means the end of life on earth. There are tons of theories out there including the polar ice caps melting and drowning everything, the sun burning out and all plant life, the bases of almost all food chains including ours, dieing. One interesting end of life theory is the sun will become so hot that it will evaporate all liquid water and wipe out all life.

Then there is my favorite crack pots, I mean theorist, who believe the end of the world means the end of civilization. These theories range anywhere from economies and governments collapsing bringing about anarchy, to a simple virus wiping out over half the population leaving a few to start over. As far as the end of civilizations are concerned I think we are the authors of our own demise. A lot of people think war will wipe out all civilizations, but I know better. In a couple of decades the only kind of wars we will have are those fought online. The average time a human will spend away from a computer per day will be 1 hour. That will be the cumulative time it will take to get up and go to the bathroom or get something to eat, and that will only apply to those who can't afford the "don't go no where seat." It is a technology be produced my Mikerowe soft Corp. This chair uses Particle fusion technology to create matter which is injected into your body for substance, this is how you will eat. and as for going to the bathroom, it's got on-board plumbing. This is why the whole nuclear war and blowing each other up theory is ultimately false. What will do us in are appliances that we build to serve us. It has been a growing trend to put microchips into everything. We just can't be bothered with making toast ourselves so we put a couple of chips inside a toaster and we let it make toast for us. pretty soon appliances are going to get to smart and become self aware. You won't think that brave little toaster is so cute when it tries to jump you in the shower. oh and don't get me started on self generating paper clips.

All in all the End of the earth, life, civilization, the end of whatever, is inevitable. One shouldn't be bothered with trying to figure out how it will happen, just knowing it will happen is enough to remind us that time is limited so we should get our parking validated as soon as possible because in heaven, space is limited.